When Christmas Has Never Been Such Special

(MainbarOnline Note: This is a sponsored story. It neither reflects the author’s life story nor does it come from the MainbarOnline’s. Part of celebrating Christmas, this blog wants to show a reflective experience on Christmas day.)

Christmas that has never been that special by mainbar online

(Image credit: Public Domain; By 1st Lt. Peter Lantz, via wikimedia commons)

I used to think about Christmas the way others thought about it. I used to think about it like the most special day of the year. I used to think about it was like the happiest day that has to come every year. That’s what I thought about it. That’s how I used to think about it…about Christmas that has never been such special to me.

Back in those days I was too young to understand about life, life, to me, seemed like no-big-deal to look forward to it. I thought never about death. Nor did I think about success in life because that time I thought life, itself, which kept me from moving, breathing, and understanding wrong understanding about it was already a success. I never thought about keeping it moving to the better for I understood none of it.

I graduated high school just for the sake of finishing it. I might become such nerd from others’ viewpoint, but that was just me in my simple exercise of my endurance I never thought it would come the way I never expected.

Then, I went to college not for the purpose to study like a pro like the rest at my age did. I had too many things at the back of my mind too assertive to let my passion for a study to die down day by day. And each Christmas to come, I felt like it was just ordinary. Work. Work. Work.  Each time I felt tired, I kept on making myself tired because I know nobody would do the things I have to do for me. It was only me and I…nobody.

I graduated college; got a work yet still no time for anything they called life at its best even for a simple ‘break treat’ for myself. I couldn’t understand that…not the way they could understand my life, my experience, my perspective, and my needs.

I went to a graduate school, this time for a master’s degree. Still, life to me wasn’t that natural like the rest of the people I saw around. I could still feel I was different…in all respects.

I finished my first semester of my graduate studies. I looked back the past and realize I was just wasting time again. Then, Christmas came. Again, an ordinary day for me. I kept myself busy working, writing articles, speeches, and website content for people I don’t know from early evening until 2 a.m. I heard Christmas whistles, people in my neighborhood outside celebrating Christmas, and my board mate as well. But, still, I couldn’t feel such zest to celebrate. I rather fell asleep….

Now, Christmas for me is still such like that.

This is a story of my life I don’t want you to experience.

Always,

The Renegade

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About REGEL JAVINES

Former stringer for Allvoices and contributor for Yahoo. Had worked as an editor in publishing companies for years and so far has earned some units in MBA.
Aside | This entry was posted in HODGEPODGE and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to When Christmas Has Never Been Such Special

  1. Thank you restereztern for liking it!

    Like

  2. Thank you very much theryanlanz…

    Like

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